People Change

People change, especially when they start getting success. It is a fact and a pretty well known one at that. When my friends tell me about their relative or friend who started changing, ignoring them, talking in condescending tone and distancing themselves, I wisely nod and say this happens. People change, especially when they start getting success or achieving better than those they know. It is a fact.

         But then, I experienced that. A person, to whom I was close (at least I think so), with whom I shared a lot of things, sorted out my dilemma, discussed issues before reaching a decision, then debated on those decisions and their consequences, started distancing and avoiding me for no apparent reason. I assumed that the person was busy, or preoccupied with some personal problem. So, I waited, tried striking casual conversation, but my confidant did not reply back. And it hurt.

         I wondered if I had done or said something wrong. I waited for an explanation, any intimation of what is going on in the person’s life, any conversation and a month passed. Today, with Facebook and Twitter, one can easily figure out what’s happening in other people’s life. It appears that my confidant is celebrating his own achievements and those of a family member. Well, people grow apart. That happens. It is a fact.

         This is not the first time that people have distanced themselves for no apparent reason. There was another person for whom I cared for like a sister and it turned out that all the while she was working against me, behind my back and all the while pretending to be my sole support during a difficult time. That hurt too.

         Then there were others, whom I did not know very well and who, for reasons unknown to me, had started disliking me. It was apparent in their behaviour. One of them was walking down with me on the staircase (by sheer chance). After two flights, she exclaimed loudly about a wrong accessory she was wearing and climbed back. The same female had to thank me for getting her paper and she did so without looking in my eye. And when someone dislikes you so much, you can feel that when you are around them. It puzzled me greatly, for I could not fathom the reason behind their hate. We had hardly talked. I am a nice person and quite shy and take my time in opening up with people. My friend said because of this I came across as arrogant and scheming. That surprised me. But then these were people I hardly knew and though I wished they would tell me what their problem was and I, in turn, could give them some explanation, (even if it made no difference) it did not matter much. And over time, I started ignoring them too.

         Then there was this girl, who played a prank on me in school and I hated her and avoided her for almost two years. Then, at one school trip, we became good friends and though we are not in touch, I harbour no ill-will towards her. So, people change, perceptions change and sometimes you just find out more about how a person really is and that changes everything.

         What can you do to prevent yourself from being hurt? I have a thumb rule. If you share things with a person and the person does not share back anything or is closed, then beware of what you say. It doesn't always work, but it is a good rule. This is experience speaking.

         As for my confidant, I shall wait and hope things become how they were, that this is just a phase. And if it is not... well then, such is life. People change, especially when they are successful. It is a fact.