Book Review: The Vault of Shiva

How would a book based on India and written by someone who has just Googled India and talked to a few Punjabi or north Indian families read like? The answer is ‘The Vault of Shiva’ written by Andy McDermott. The book, as I was surprised to learn, was part of a series based on two characters – Nina Wilde, an archaeologist, and Eddie Chase, a former mercenary. I had initially thought that this was a debut novel of an aspiring pulp fiction writer

Around 70 per cent of the book is action. Some readers may enjoy that. In the book, Eddie says the only thing he knows about India is from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. It appears that it is also, somewhat, true for the author. Stark manifestation of Hollywood stereotyping is evident in the portrayal of Indian characters and the country itself.

While drawing a mind map, the author probably wrote India in the centre and corruption, caste system, slums, cricket, IT engineers, sadhus and mythology in the off-shoots. He must have then talked to north Indian families and come up with the surnames – Tandon, Jindal and Mahajan, not to mention Khoil, which I believe is distortion of Kohli. While we are talking of names, Chapal (or slipper) hardly sounds like a legitimate Indian name, but then of course some parents have weird sense of humour

In the previous book, Nina, Eddie and some of their friends had recovered lost treasure from the “sunken ruins of Atlantis”. The artefacts included a book called Telenor Codex, which was basically notes by Telenor, a fictitious Atlantean scout, about his journey to India. The traveller had visited a temple, where Shiva-Vedas were kept and, incredibly, the trusting Brahmin guardians showed him the Vedas and even let him take an imprint of the key that was used to open the sacred vault where the Vedas were stored.

The Codex is stolen during an exhibition of the Atlantean artefacts by people hired by Pramesh Khoil, a software engineer-cum-entrepreneur who wants to bring an end to Kalyuga (or Kali Yuga as the book spells it) and start the new cycle.  Khoil and his wife Vanita grew up in slum, though it is not mentioned where. I guess it is safe to assume they are north Indians as they speak in Hindi

Khoil is a dalit who hates Brahmins and, despite being a billionaire, faces caste prejudices (all this he says in a single dialogue and no elaborations are provided anywhere else in the book, not even through dialogues). Yet, he is a hard core follower of Shiva and credits him for all his achievements. His minions are – Dhiren Mahajan (who lost his tongue when the leader of the gang he was an enforcer for put red-hot nail in his mouth, “the way Brahmins used to punish dalits”), Chapal Tandon and Nahari Singh (who was a bonded labourer).  Note- Mahajan and Tandon are upper castes. From the book, it is evident that the author read half page summary on the caste system in India and used it whimsically wherever he could

Khoil stays in a high-tech palace on the outskirts of Bangalore, and none of those who work for him there speak Kannada. I assume he had only north Indian workforce. At one point, Khoil buys over 300 tickets to a cricket match for his employees (an hour and a half before the match was to start) and the people who had the tickets were issued an apology and told that they will get free tickets to any match of their choice. Even for the biggest sponsor (Khoil is a major sponsor) this seems to be an implausible feat, given how easily it was done without any protest or hullabaloo (or maybe the author decided it wasn’t relevant to the plot as Eddie and Jindal might not have encountered any of it). You will have to make many such assumptions throughout the story.

Corrupt officials make entry at few points, though their only contribution to the plot is that it explains why Eddie doesn’t take or receive any help from the local law enforcement body. This I do not contest

Then there is the character of Girilal, the present guardian of the vault, who trusts foreigners as much as the old guardians did and helps them recover Shiva-Vedas. Nina is able to solve the puzzle that baffled the guardians for centuries. Nina also figures out the way to get past a 20-foot tall statue (or as it turns out – a robot) of Kali that attacks anyone who comes near it. Despite the incredulousness of a foreigner (and not an expert on India or South Asia for that matter) solving the puzzles – much like Nancy Drew – by guessing correctly every time, I do appreciate the creativity that the author put in this particular scene:

‘I believe Kali would protect me,’ Nina replied. ‘And she did. Stand back, let me show you.’

She pushed the spear down again. The sword lunged- and this time she jerked the wood away. The blade continued to the limit of its travel, hacking another piece off the wooden shaft.

‘If you are afraid, that’s what you do when Kali attacks you,’ she explained. ‘You jump back – and get hit anyway. But if you’re not afraid, if you stand your ground...’ She lowered the spear once more, keeping it pressed firmly to the stone. Another bang echoed through the passage as the sword stopped abruptly before impact. ‘If you stay in place, there’s something in the machinery that keeps it from hitting you. The symbols in her other two hands are the clue for how to get through. It’s like the key – you have to know the meaning of the stories about Shiva and the goddess to get inside.’

The plot holds no surprises. The villain is revealed early in the book and the only thrust to the story is provided by long winding action sequences

Perhaps, I might have enjoyed the book much more had it been based on Afghanistan or Egypt or some other place whose culture I know little about, except through Hollywood flicks. I might have also enjoyed it if I wasn’t an Indian. My dad picked this book from an airport to read during a journey. I found it lying in the house and picked it up as the title intrigued me. It turned out to be a disappointment to say the least. In Eddie’s words: Buggeration and fuckery! 

P.S: Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom is NOT based in India.