People change, especially when they start getting success.
It is a fact and a pretty well known one at that. When my friends tell me about
their relative or friend who started changing, ignoring them, talking in
condescending tone and distancing themselves, I wisely nod and say this
happens. People change, especially when they start getting success or achieving
better than those they know. It is a fact.
But then, I experienced that. A person, to whom I was close
(at least I think so), with whom I shared a lot of things, sorted out my
dilemma, discussed issues before reaching a decision, then debated on those
decisions and their consequences, started distancing and avoiding me for no apparent
reason. I assumed that the person was busy, or preoccupied with some personal
problem. So, I waited, tried striking casual conversation, but my confidant did
not reply back. And it hurt.
I wondered if I had done or said something wrong. I waited
for an explanation, any intimation of what is going on in the person’s life,
any conversation and a month passed. Today, with Facebook and Twitter, one can
easily figure out what’s happening in other people’s life. It appears that my
confidant is celebrating his own achievements and those of a family member.
Well, people grow apart. That happens. It is a fact.
This is not the first time that people have distanced
themselves for no apparent reason. There was another person for whom I cared
for like a sister and it turned out that all the while she was working against
me, behind my back and all the while pretending to be my sole support during a
difficult time. That hurt too.
Then there were others, whom I did not know very well and
who, for reasons unknown to me, had started disliking me. It was apparent in
their behaviour. One of them was walking down with me on the staircase (by sheer
chance). After two flights, she exclaimed loudly about a wrong accessory she
was wearing and climbed back. The same female had to thank me for getting her
paper and she did so without looking in my eye. And when someone dislikes you
so much, you can feel that when you are around them. It puzzled me greatly, for
I could not fathom the reason behind their hate. We had hardly talked. I am a
nice person and quite shy and take my time in opening up with people. My friend
said because of this I came across as arrogant and scheming. That surprised me.
But then these were people I hardly knew and though I wished they would tell me
what their problem was and I, in turn, could give them some explanation, (even
if it made no difference) it did not matter much. And over time, I started
ignoring them too.
Then there was this girl, who played a prank on me in school
and I hated her and avoided her for almost two years. Then, at one school trip,
we became good friends and though we are not in touch, I harbour no ill-will
towards her. So, people change, perceptions change and sometimes you just find
out more about how a person really is and that changes everything.
What can you do to prevent yourself from being hurt? I have
a thumb rule. If you share things with a person and the person does not share
back anything or is closed, then beware of what you say. It doesn't always
work, but it is a good rule. This is experience speaking.
As for my confidant, I shall wait and hope things become how
they were, that this is just a phase. And if it is not... well then, such is
life. People change, especially when they are successful. It is a fact.
